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Irreverent Wellness
Let's pattern interrupt our way to joy, shall we?
And don't mind the clowns. They're with us.
What is all this, anyway?
Does irreverent wellness involve a royal rumble with people dressed as fruits and veggies? We can neither confirm nor deny.
Anyway, here it is, friends:
If you're a semi-functioning adult in 2026, you're probably more stressed than my GI tract after a visit to Myrtle Beach.
That was oddly personal and unnecessary to include.
But that's fine. Stress is normal. Natural, even.
But what isn't natural is the endless seeking, searching, optimizing and chasing that makes us think the "cure" is just around the corner.
Eventually, the chase becomes more exhausting than the stress itself, doesn't it?
So, to that end, we don't promise answers, inner peace or enlightment. Our lawyers aren't good enough for us to make those guarantees anyway.
Instead, we're here to help you dance with the stress, fog and uncertainty of life. Through bizarre pattern interrupts, delirious laughter and mythologizing your life and organization.
Let's tango.
You ready?
Our Shenanigans
Preposterous Tarot Readings
Preposterous Tarot Readings
You need clarity? We got your clarity right here. But it'll come from the Joe Blow Tarot deck with cards like, "Florida Man", "The Insufferable Aunt on Facebook" and "The Retired Swingers". All readings come with a follow-up life plan from our motley crew of layabouts, comedians, HR managers, gurus, shrinks and frogs.
Personal Mythology Creation
Preposterous Tarot Readings
You're Joe from Sales. Super inspiring, right? It can be if we reframe your journey to Joe the Cold Call King from the Realm of Refusals. Your life is actually the coolest thing happening in the cosmos right now (true story, I read that on Reddit), so we will create something you can carry with you on the quest. A sigil. A song. A personalized company Tarot Deck. All three. All ten. You name it.
Mindless Meditations
Mindless Meditations
Can't sleep? Stressed?
Ok, this is beginning to sound like an infomercial. But if you CALL NOW, we can...
Anyway.
If you're more tightly wound than your mother-in-law upon seeing your living conditions, then a customized meditation may be just the thing you need. We'll create something ridiculous and relaxing to get your mind right, break those mental loops and get you those long-awaited zzzs.
Customized music
Mindless Meditations
Music gives life itself. Ask the entire Millennial generation who owe their very existence to Kenny G and Boyz II Men. As such, we will create music that gives new life to you as well. Need motivation? We'll cook up your personal anthem. Just had layoffs in your organization? We think a polka about being perp-walked out of the building is exactly what this day calls for.
Career Coaching
Yeah...we don't do career coaching. Sounds like work.
Random Joyfests
Looking for a team-building activity, bachelorette bonanza or welcome-home event for your two cousins who just got freed from law school? We'll design something customized, absurd, and thoroughly involving betting on the next person who walks in the room with a parlay on what color pants they're wearing.
Is Irreverent Wellness for you?
Maybe, maybe not
As you can see, we're amazing at sales.
For individuals: If you're battling overwhelm, a mid-life crisis, dark night of the soul, or strange rash that no amount of cortizone seems to help...first of all, sorry about the rash. That;s rough.
Irreverent wellness isn't about escaping your life, giving you the answers or numbing out with goofy escapism. This is about introducing so much absurdity and joyful madness into the story of your life that you can't help but see it differently. And from that place of openness and wonder, all kinds of crazy and beautiful things are possible.
For teams: If your crew is creatively stuck or needs a morale boost because they just laid off Rhonda from accounting (whom we all love and miss. Stay strong, Rhonda), then this is the modality to help you reframe the whole shebang.
Warning: We will dive directly into the sore spots with ridiculousness, call out the elephants in the room and have fun with all the sacred cows. And when the dust settles, you'll feel a whole lot lighter.
And you'll also have a lot of dust. You should probably hire a cleaning company for that.
Meet the team!
Geoff Woliner, Chief Cook & Bottle Washer
Geoff is....wait, what? Why am I referring to myself in the third person? Weird. I'm the one typing this. It's me, folks.
Anyway, what's my deal? Oh, right. I've been a comedian for 20+ years, wrote seven books ranging from performance psychology to spiritual awakening, thousands of speeches for ice road truckers and celebrities alike, released three albums...but none of that can hold a candle to that smoked brisket I made last week. Want some? I'll include it in any package you purchase. Pinky swear.
Irreverent wellness kinda saved my life. Remove "kinda". Least I could do was start this funhouse to spread the love.
Chris
Chris is the Director of....abolutely nothing.
He's just there.
He wants for nothing and doesn't care if you do either.
Platitudo the Frog
Obviously we needed a frog that just shows up with platitudes.